You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
