he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
