I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize