East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
