I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
