doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
