You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize