I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
