he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
