Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
