I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
