I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Randomize
