i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize