My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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