We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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