I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
