I'm really into asian looking animals
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i think i have herpe
just one?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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