if you like me you must not know who I am
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
