my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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