You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I need to stop coming to work sober
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
