Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
you had me at cake vodka
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
third nipple confirmed
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
