took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
