it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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