How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
