Who wears a wallet chain?!
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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