She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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