i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I did not marry a roomba.
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