he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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