I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
