never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
