The maid of honor just puked.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
