I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
