I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
