One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize