I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
