I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize