Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You have to summon your inner elephant
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize