Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
