How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
