that's an acceptable place to lick
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
