you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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