i can't believe i had my finger in that
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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