i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
My liver just had a heart attack.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
