The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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