I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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