Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize