Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
