She's JV to your varsity
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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