i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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