in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
