i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
