no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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