come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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