sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
