the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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