You're so nebulous sometimes
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
