covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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