Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I love you. Go after that dick
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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