i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
PANTIES FOUND
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