My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize