Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
