and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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