I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
