her vagine was all disorganized.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
