I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
