Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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