Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
