All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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