Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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