She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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