Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
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