Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
