i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
