something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
