On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
