And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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