Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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