And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
