why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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