It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
