I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
